It's Not the Thing You Fling...

So I've been doing some thinking lately, we're barreling towards Kaiya's first birthday, and it seems like every time I look at her, she is a little bit bigger, or can do something else for herself. It gives me so much joy to see her accomplish things, especially since she is so happy about her new abilities.

I think sometimes we get so caught up in achievements, and looking toward the next step, that we miss what is happening now. It makes me think back to when I was a teenager, and how when I was 12, all I wanted to be was 14, so I could go to dances. It seemed to me that everything would be wonderful, as soon as I could go to dances. Finally I turned 14. I was nearly paralyzed with fear that nobody would ask me to dance, or worse, I would be sitting down, and a boy would ask me to dance, I would stand up and he would be 10 inches shorter than me.

But my first Stake Dance arrived, and a boy did ask me to dance! His name was Kyle Thurman; he was at least 6 foot 4, and a senior to boot! I didn't know him at all, and it just seemed so romantic. But the moment passed: when we were dancing I told him I wasn't 16 and couldn't date, and he lost interest; then he turned out to be totally conceited and I lost interest. But there had been that perfect moment, when the slow song started and a cute, tall boy asked me to dance.

So is that what life is really about? A collection of ideal moments? Can we ever truly appreciate those moments as they are happening, or are we destined to look back and say, "I wish I would have known that moment was meaningful."? I am determined to do my very best to truly appreciate and capture those moments as a mother. I wanted to be a mother for so long, and now that it is here, I just want to find joy in every day; and not get caught up in achieving milestones or say "I can't wait until Kaiya can ....." or, "If only Kaiya was able to...."

Now, you may ask how is this determination connected to an early 90's TV show? Please watch the following video clip to understand why "It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling itself."